Non-Beauty Beauty Products

Two of my favorite beauty products aren’t really beauty products; they just work damn well and happen to be cheaper than high-end alternatives. Listen carefully, dear readers, for I am handing you the keys to my cosmetic success: tanning oil and Vaseline.

Utterly phenomenal

Vaseline, I must say, is the mother of all beauty products. It can soften cuticles, tame stray eyebrows, turn powder blush into cream blush, define bare lashes, soften lips, and has about a bajillion more applications. It’s awesome. As of late, I’ve been balls-deep in the new Cocoa Butter Vaseline, which really contains no cocoa butter, but I thoroughly enjoy the fragrance, which brings me to product #2.

Banana Boat, bitches! Because I do it up proper.

TANNING OIL. I motherfucking love dark tanning oil. I use it as a moisturizer year-round. Why? Because it makes me smell like a freaking beach. Because it’s insanely hydrating. Because it makes my legs look smooth and shiny (almost like plastic mannequin legs, but less creepy and inanimate). Because I said so, and I’m awesome. How awesome?? So awesome.

Speaking of awesome, if you were ever wondering about the daily life and general satire of yours truly, you should check out my usual blog, The Nikkipedia.

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Dresses, dresses, dresses!!!

I love dresses. To state the obvious, they are an entire outfit in one piece. It’s pretty much fool-proof! Every fashion hound worth her salt needs three critical Little [Blank] Dresses.

The LBD

Ah, yes, the little black dress. Classic, timeless, and dresses up or down–from Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s to Ke$ha wearing a trash bag. In any case, because LBD’s are so ubiquitous, I won’t bother posting too many links.

Ke$ha gets Hefty

Hepburn’s timeless LBD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The LWD

Little white dresses are just so fresh and clean-looking! I love them to pieces, but have the great misfortune of being terminally spill-prone. So, not really an option for me. Wistful sigh. But a girl can drool over her laptop dream.

White ASOS Body Con DressWhite ASOS Mesh Cutout Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

The LRD

The little red dress doesn’t seem to have as much of a following as the above options, but it’s seriously versatile, fun, and sexy (ummmm hello, does anyone else remember Jessica Rabbit??) Nothing says “I have arrived” quite like a little red dress.

ASOS Sexy Pencil Dress with Pockets

Calvin Klein Asymmetrical Belted Shift Dress in Red

ASOS Strapless Skater Dress with Sweetheart Neckline in Red


What are your favorite showstopper dresses? Which do you think are the most wearable?

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Crop Tops: short and stylish like yours truly!

Crop tops where everywhere last year in S/S 2011 collections.

Rodarte Spring 2011 RTW

Marc by Marc Jacobs runway

YSL Spring 2011 RTW

And naturally, the style trickled down into fast fashion venues. I would post some Forever 21 pics, but if you are the kind of person who reads this blog, no doubt you already know what I’m talking about.

Crop tops are, in three words, awesome as shit. They supply healthy dose of nostalgia for the 90’s, à la Cher Horowitz from Clueless or Rayanne Graff in My So-Called Life. More importantly, they are a great piece for anyway looking to balance a long waist. (Sidenote: yes, my body is weird; long-waisted, petite and pear-shaped. Like a penguin. But I’m an awesome penguin, so deal with it.)

They are also extremely versatile for winter. Layering crop tops over tunic-length tanks and leggings is both casual and on-point with my trend-o-meter (it’s a highly technical, sophisticated device; you’ve probably never heard of it). However, if you want to crank that shit up to 11, try layering a crop top over a dress. How about a boxy lace or crochet cropped tee over a streamlined tank dress? Why the hell not. Feeling dangerous? Incorporate the 90’s grunge element of a plain cropped tee or chunky sweater with a more modern trend, like Navajo prints (which dominated Proenza Schouler’s A/W 2011 runway).

F21 Tee, $19.80

Kit Rubix Crop Tee, $19.77

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once the weather warms back up, you can wear your crop tops in full, belly-baring form! They’re definitely sticking around for at least another season; Dolce & Gabbana showed 50’s-pinup-meets-housewife looks with cropped tops and midi skirts in their 2012 Resort collection on Milan’s runways.

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Sunday Blog Recommendations

As established last week, I will be posting on fashion and style blogs I admire every Sunday. It’s like regular a family tradition. Like every Christmas when your wacky aunt gets drunk and makes mildly racist comments. It’s like that.

This week, I would like to take a moment to expound upon the genius that is Extra Petite.

She is clearly unafraid of color, she employs all the little tricks for body elongation (read: vertical ruffles, nude heels, etc.), and she does makeup tutorials! She also has a tab dedicated solely to petite resources, aiding tiny women in the endless struggle against looking like a little girl trying on her mother’s ten-sizes-too-big clothes.

Next up is the glamourai.

She is adorable, she accessorizes to perfection, and she has some beautiful home décor and interior design posts, heavily influenced by the incomparable Kelly Wearstler.

Last but certainly not least is Cupcakes and Cashmere.

Both relaxed and glamorous, Emily’s got this kind of effortless cool that allows her to pull of high-waisted, pleated leather shorts without looking like she’s wearing some kind of dominatrix diaper. Plus, she makes taffy and caramels and homemade twix bars!!!!

That’s all I’ve got for now. Three more blogs to come next week; one of them might be yours!!

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Streetwalker Chic

Lately, I have been lusting for improbably tall pumps. By “lately,” I really mean “since birth,” given that 5″+  pumps have been my shoe of choice since roughly 2000. Yes, I was 12. No, I don’t think that’s a problem.

However, my current obsession stems from the availability of talltalltall pumps with a thicker, more substantial heel, which I feel makes them slightly more work appropriate than a stiletto. Now if only these were more wallet appropriate. Drool.

Stella McCartney Faux-Patent Pump, $825

Brian Atwood POWER Pump, $575

Christian Louboutin Bibi 140, $795

Miu Miu Leather Platform Pumps, $595

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Tuesday’s Bargain Bonanza

For those of you who don’t know what Rue La La is, you should. It’s an amazing invite-only website that provides access to INSANE designer discounts. Imagine MICHAEL Michael Kors skinny jeans for $19.90, TART infinity dresses for $59.90, and Robert Rodriguez leather vests for $79.90. This website is a freaking gold mine.

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Teen Queen

So last night was the Teen Choice Awards. I’m going to keep my who-wore-what-and-how commentary to a minimum, just because I feel like everyone and their mother has already offered their two cents; thus, whatever i have to say at this point is probably just redundant. Here are three looks I loved, and none that I hated, because quite frankly I don’t have the energy to fight that skintight-orange-leather-monstrosity that was Blake Lively’s dress (and somehow, everyone else loved it–the world is lousy with idiots).

Zoe Saldana has some enormous steel ladyballs. Head-to-toe gold lamé is a gutsy look to pull off, but the belted silhouette of that Lanvin dress works on her, the shoes go with the dress without matching the dress, and she’s sporting the perfect accessory: George Clooney a big ol’ smile!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Demi Lovato was similarly rocking some brass she-testicles, wearing a chartreuse and beige lace BCBG Max Azria mullet dress–a bold color choice with one of my favorite hemlines. The chartreuse Louboutins are so perfect with this look, I can’t stand it. The arm party and finger candy aren’t distracting from the big picture. She could have easily wound up looking like a tennis ball, but homegirl worked it out.

Nina Dobrev‘s look is young, clean, and summery–perfection. I sure do love a strong nautical influence. It’s something I would wear myself if I could afford that D&G S/S 2011 dress, which is on 50% clearance and could be yours for the low, low price of $223.00.

Did you watch the Teen Choice Awards last night?

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